Fragile: Handle with Prayer

Last night we had two boys dear to our hearts in separate emergency rooms wreaking havoc on their parents' hearts. And mine. I first found myself driving well over the speed limit to the next town to be with my friend whose little guy decided to swallow an entire apple slice in one go and treated his big brother to a ride in an ambulance. On the way home from that traumatic experience,with my heart full of gratitude for his safety, I got a tearful call from my sister-in-law saying that my nephew was leaving our hospital and on his way to Spokane after some crazy symptoms and bloodwork results that seemed to be pointing to capital letter ailments. I turned the car around and ran to her house for some more tears and prayers (and snuggling my sweet niece).

I felt completely helpless in both of these situations and completely torn up, even though these precious babes aren't my own. The song by Sara Groves that my sister chose for her son's dedication a few weeks ago came to mind:

I only have two hands - be everywhere
I do not know enough - to be all knowing
I give this baby up into your care
I do not know how, how to pray for this child
I want to guard her from everything wicked and wild
but in the trial...
I learned to hold on
... to the heart of God

In my fear for two little men dear to my heart I realized just how fragile these little lives are. A crazy reaction to a virus or a mere apple slice can bring them awfully close to tragedy and all of our love and attention and parenting can suddenly seem futile. It made me realize the need to pray for these little ones as often as we kiss them, not because I expect God to come swooping down in his super man cape, but because we can't be all seeing and we have to give our babies up to someone larger than us or we can go crazy with worry. For me, prayer is more about affecting my own attitude and perspective than expecting that what I want will come to be.

At church this morning, I asked for prayer for my nephew and the pastor prayed for him by name in the service, which was so powerful and different from the norm. It meant so much to me for his name to be lifted up in a group of souls I love and afterward we had so many people come up to us and say they would be praying for him, and say his name. I don't know if God heard us, but that little man is on his way home from the hospital right now, which seems nothing short of miraculous after last night's fears.

My poor babes have been hugged and slobbered on all day and they may be sick of my cloying love today. But tonight, after they are asleep, I plan on praying myself to sleep, lifting up their sweet names and the names of all the little ones I love so much.