New Eyes

Several times over the past few weeks I've been struck by the importance of seeing my kiddos with fresh eyes, often through the eyes of others, in order to see them more clearly. This is especially true with Sydney, since, let's face it, she's more likely to get the brunt of my tired mama self by the end of the day since she can form sassy sentences and stomp around like nobody's business.

When my family was here for Thanksgiving and early Christmas, it was so fun to sit back and see my little girl as they saw her, and listen as an observer to their fresh love for her and her antics. By the end of the weekend, I was thinking she was about 18% cuter and sweeter than before they'd arrived, when really she was the same little girl all along. And, more importantly, I could see more clearly some of her strengths that got blurry when I was looking too closely at things like her inability to keep her room tidy. This has happened to me with pre-school, with other moms, with the strangers at the mall who thought her Irish dancing was fabulous (they must have been grandparents or just especially sweet souls).

Because I spend all day each day with my little cherubs, it's easy to take some of their goodness for granted. Sometimes I revel in it, but too often I find myself counting down to bedtime so I can be still and unencumbered.

When we got out of the car Friday evening from our wonderful trip to the Spokane mall (this makes it sound gross, but it is one of those beautiful downtown malls that makes you feel like you're in a Christmas movie), the carousel, feeding the ducks, a little shopping and a scrumptuous meal at PF Chang's, Elias threw up all over me, soaking me from shoulder to boot and I froze in terror because neither one of my kids have really had a stomach bug before. Thus began a long few hours with my little man as he emptied his tummy and needed mama's comfort again and again. Last night I was up with my Sydney girl all night long as she repeated this process. Strangely these seemingly horrid nights have helped me see my babes anew and appreciate the fact that I get to be with them every day.

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I was so overwhelmed with concern for them and so happy to bring them any comfort I could that any thoughts of their daytime shenanigans fell away. I know this makes no sense, but I'm actually thankful for these past nights filled with yuck. It's been such a reminder of what my role really is as their mama. Yes, I need to keep the house cleanish and the meals coming and the laundry folded, but mostly I need to love on these kiddos, whether it be loving them through a stomach bug or an epic battle over a dirty baby doll. If we eat boxed mac 'n' cheese for a week and wear yesterday's loungewear again, or if all of my handmade gifts don't get finished, that's really okay.

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So although I would like to avoid another stomach bug for another 3 and 3/4 years, I am thankful for the time I spent today just sitting in my living room, stroking their hair, bringing them juice and remembering that being with them every day, even the sick ones, is truly a blessing.

Now watch me start throwing up tomorrow and come back and delete this post entirely.